I have a confession: My name is Jenny Chang, and I am a Hopeless Romantic.
I was ashamed to admit that for so long. I thought to be a Hopeless Romantic meant being an irresponsible, overly sensitive and a feeble person in love, and I wasn’t willing to accept that.
Through enough relationships and events in my life, I’ve learned that being a Hopeless Romantic was actually something to be proud of.
I’ve dated a ton of worthy men, gained useful experiences for my life’s resume, built a growing startup inspired by my love for love, and more importantly — it helped me evolve into the person I am today.
So, who is a Hopeless Romantic?
A Hopeless Romantic is a person that loves, love, and all that comes through and within it.
It means that even if your love life is temporarily on hold, you can find the purest joy for others experiencing this thing called, “love.”
How do I know I’m a Hopeless Romantic? Well, I’m a fucking wedding planner. Listen, real talk: even if I was dumped a night before my client’s wedding, I’d still live through the positive energies expressed by my couples. It’s the happiest feeling to be around, love.
If you’re a Hopeless Romantic, or lucky enough to date one, below are the 7 things you didn’t know about us:
1. All the romantic movies actually make us a ‘realist.’
If you’re a Hopeless Romantic – best believe you’ve tried to re-create a scene from,“The Notebook,” at least a dozen times.
No. I never tried writing 365 letters to my long lost lover.
At least… not yet.
The more we watch our favorite romantic films, the more we realize that shit is anything, but reality. Love isn’t all roses, sex, and feelings of euphoria — and it certainly doesn’t always come with a glory ending. It can be really painful, and the more pain we’ve felt- the more jaded we become.
Hopeless Romantics don’t try and live the scenes of a romantic movie — instead, we live it the contrary. We vision a more realistic approach to how things need to be, as opposed to how it’s “meant” to be.
2. We’re not doormats.
Hopeless Romantics have the biggest and most giving hearts in anyone you’ll ever meet. Whether you’re right for us, or not, we will always give our best, and most, in love.
We’ll put your needs above our own, forgive your mistakes over and over again, and even fight our friends just to have your back.
We’re partners, not doormats.
Some can mistake the love given by a Hopeless Romantic by weakness — which is why our love and boundaries are always being tested.
Hopeless Romantics recognize that love is a treasure worth fighting for, but only if it’s recognized, appreciated and valued. We understand it’s a choice to commit – not a necessity. If we feel a lack in any of the above requirements, we’re out, and onto self-love.
3. We forgive to a fault.
This one’s the most challenging for me to admit because I find myself guilty of this time and time again.
Hopeless Romantics are notorious for being taken advantage of. Our forgiving nature can be our greatest quality to others, but the biggest weaknesses in ourselves.
Even after we learn to set boundaries, we’ll still find a million ways to break down the barriers – if it means to find that one simple reason to love you again.
Believe me, we don’t always want to, but we will.
4. Hopeless Romantics are visionaries.
Once we’re fixated on you, all the thoughts of how you’ll fit into our future come flowing through our driven minds. We’ll replay the first date a thousand times and read back on Day 1 to current texts just to relive every emotion again.
Hopeless romantics are visionaries. We’ll vision how you’ll fit into our lives, and unknowingly draw a painting of you into our future.
Like all visionaries, once we see it— we’ll work towards creating it.
That’s if you’re willing to create it with us.
5. Hopeless Romantics believe in more than just, ‘one.’
I have many ‘ones,’ and yes, my fifth-grade crush is one of them.
Currently, in my love life’s resume, I have the ‘one’ that got away, the ‘one’ I could never have, the ‘one’ that destroyed my dreams, the ‘one’ that chose another, the ‘one’ that deployed, and of course, the many ‘ones’ that I’ve had many sexy times with.
The reality is, hopeless romantics know we have more than just ‘one’ lover in this lifetime. We have many.
The many ‘ones’ lead us and continue to lead us to become the best versions of ourselves. They’ve all imparted us with a valuable experience to gain the knowledge that brought us wisdom, and helped us rebuild our expectations in what to look for in our lifelong partner.
6. Hopeless Romantics are ambitious as f*ck.
When I set my mind on something – there is nothing that can or will get in the way of me having it. Literally. In all things, places or events I can control in my life — I believe I will have it all if I put my heart into it.
This is a common mentality that all Hopeless Romantics have in our pursuits in life. We’re resilient, persistent, hopeful, and ambitious.
It’s in our nature to replace rejection with a drive. Hopeless Romantics will see rejection, haters, and hardship as a prerequisite to becoming stronger, more confident and ambitious to pursue all that we desire in life.
Hopeless romantics are ambitious because we apply our determination to succeed in our personal and career success, to all that we desire in love.
7. You’d never know we’re Hopeless Romantics.
Upon meeting me, if I told you what my career is, you’d make an assumption I’m a Hopeless Romantic. Otherwise, you’d never know.
Hopeless Romantics don’t wear it on our sleeves that we’re maniacs of love. You’d never guess we are, which is again, the reason our love is constantly being tested.
We will find ways to cover it with our sleek styles, sculpted bodies, sleeved tattoos, alter egos exposed on social media, and my favorite — productivity.
The busier I am, and that I appear to you, the less you’ll know of my hopeless heart and dreams— and the less you see me as a Hopeless Romantic, the fewer chances I have of another heartbreak.
At times, disguising the reality of being a Hopeless Romantic is what keeps this game of love so exhilarating, but we can only hide it for so long till we find ourselves in a consistent pattern of unsuccessful relationships.
I don’t know about you, but I’m over the same old patterns of failing relationships.
Again, my name is Jenny Chang, and I am a damn proud Hopeless Romantic.